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Shawn Spencer: Excuse me, I'm here for a class.Clerk: This class?Shawn Spencer: Yeah, I believe it starts in...Clerk: Five minutes.Shawn Spencer: Right, five minutes from now. I'm usually 10 minutes early, so I'm already feeling behind.Clerk: This class is for five- to eight-year-olds.Shawn Spencer: Yes. Yes, it is. And, uh, that's what I call...Burton 'Gus' Guster: Discrimination.[points at the clerk triumphantly]Clerk: Discrimination?Burton 'Gus' Guster: Yes, and ageism.Clerk: Who are you?[gestures vacantly to buy himself time]Burton 'Gus' Guster: I'm his lawyer.Shawn Spencer: That's right.Clerk: You brought a lawyer?Shawn Spencer: I keep a lawyer on retainer at all times. There is so much injustice in the world that you practically can't leave home without one. And apparently, today it paid off.Clerk: Right, okay. Well, I will see you in court, then. Now...Burton 'Gus' Guster: Perfect. Now I need a statement from you. And as we plan to try this in both civil and criminal court, I'll need the police here as well. Can I use your phone, or do you only let the white people use that?Clerk: Who said anything about white people?Burton 'Gus' Guster: You just did.Clerk: The words "white people" did not come out of my mouth.Burton 'Gus' Guster: There they are again. Luckily, I had my hand recorder on for that one. By the way, I am now disclosing that this conversation is being recorded.Clerk: Recorded? Okay, this is crazy.Burton 'Gus' Guster: Crazy? You wanna know crazy? I sued 300 businesses last year alone. I sued a hot dog cart and got everything but the wheels and the buns, which I won in the civil case two months later. Now, if you don't mind, before I start snapping evidence photos, I'm a little parched, so can you tell me which one of these fountains I'm allowed to use?

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