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Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: I've always said it isn't who you love; it's how you love. Genitalia is simply God's way of accessorizing.Michael Novotny: [to Debbie] This is not about you and the Gay Mother of the Year award. This is about Brian's one-night stand.Justin Taylor: Not just one.Michael Novotny: Don't bet on it. And who here even cares?Vic Grassi: I do.Justin Taylor: My dad threatened to disown me. He called me a big queer.Vic Grassi: He didn't hit you, did he?Michael Novotny: Oh, come on, Uncle Vic. You're not gonna listen to this shit?Justin Taylor: That's why I have to see Brian. He'll let me stay with him.Michael Novotny: I don't think so.Justin Taylor: Well, then... I'll go to New York. I'll become a hustler, and I'll sell my body to gross old homos.Vic Grassi: I'll give you twenty bucks. [Debbie hits Vic on his head.] Save him the train fare!Justin Taylor: I'm gonna throw up. I gotta vomit.Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: Upstairs' bathroom. The one for guests and drama queens. [Justin runs upstairs, while Vic and Michael laugh.] It's not a joke, you know. Gay teens have a very high suicide rate.Michael Novotny: Unfortunately, not this one.Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: I'm calling his mother.Michael Novotny: It's not our business.Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: He may be telling the truth. And even if he isn't, she's gonna be worried.Vic Grassi: She's not worried. Now she knows: It's not drugs. It's not booze. He didn't buy an automatic weapon to take down to the Spanish club... It's just cock!

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