Emmett Honeycutt: [referring to the hot guy who walks by at Babylon] My God..., have you ever seen anything more beautiful.Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt: Venice. At sunset.Emmett Honeycutt: Fine. You go down the Grand Canal. I'll go down on him. [jokingly follows after guy]Michael Novotny: [voice over narration] Emmett can be a little campy. Okay, a lot campy. But you gotta admit, these days it takes real guts to be a queen in a world full of commoners.Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt: The problem with perfection... is its inability to recognize anything less perfect than itself.Emmett Honeycutt: In other words, you hit on him and he turned you down.Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt: ...Yeah.Michael Novotny: [voice over narration] Ted's this really smart guy, and he's got a really big heart. Only nobody here's interested in the size of that organ.Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt: Why am I wasting my time staring at a bunch of over-pumped princesses with I.Q.'s smaller than their waists...? [Ted froze as a hot guy walked past him] Jesus, look at him!Michael Novotny: [voice over narration] Like I said, it's all about sex. 'Except when you're having it. And then it's all about, "Will he stay?", "Will he go?", "How am I doing?", "What am I doing?". Unless, of course, you're Brian Kinney. And then it's "Who gives a f*** what you think? You're lucky to have me".
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