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Michael: ...I know that guy. He works out in our gym. Ah... Blake! I think he likes you.Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt: Oh, yeah, how can you tell?Michael: Because he's looking back.Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt: Probably just stretching his neck.Michael: Will you listen to you?Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt: What?Michael: Always putting yourself down!Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt: Well, better me than them. I'm gentler.Michael: Doesn't sound like it. You know, it is possible that someone can actually like you, you know.Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt: Yeah, it's possible. However, I'm sure a statistical analysis would reveal that the probability of a guy named "Blake" who looks like that, actually liking a guy named "Ted", who looks like me to be in the... point zero five percentile. In other words, practically zip. Anyway, I'm sure Brian's more his type.Michael: How do you know that?Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt: Because Brian's everybody's type. Which explains why he's had everybody.Michael: Wha...Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt: I know, I know. Except for you. Which is kind of weird when you think about it.Michael: Weird? He's my best friend!Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt: So?Michael: So, everybody knows you don't have sex with your friends!Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt: Oh, right! Sex is something you only have with complete strangers, yeah. People you will never see again - unless you just bump into him on the street. But never with someone you might actually give a shit about. [pause] Who made us these crazy rules, anyway, huh?Michael: Beats me. Let's go have a drink.Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt: Or two or three.

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