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Reginald "Red" Forman: This mall is only big enough for one Santa, Bob.Bob Pinciotti: Tell ya what, you name five reindeer and I'll step down.Reginald "Red" Forman: I can name five toes that are gonna be in your ass!Kitty Forman: [annoyed] Oh for goodness sake, why don't we stop calling it Christmas and call it Assmas?Bob Pinciotti: [gets up, sighing] Fine, I'll go. I only got worked up because Joanne's gone, Donna's working. The only people I have at home are my two friends, Egg and Nog.[Red sighs and takes off his Santa suit]Reginald "Red" Forman: Alright, fine. You wanna be Santa, go ahead.Bob Pinciotti: [sits back] Thanks, Red.Reginald "Red" Forman: Yeah, it's all for the best. I've already eaten about two pounds of fake beard as it is.[the young boy returns with a cop. He points accusingly at Bob, mistakes him for Red]Young Boy #2: There he is! Santa's the one that told me communists hate God.[confused, Bob looks around]Reginald "Red" Forman: [smiles] Gotta go, Santa![Red walks away, without correcting the boy's mistake of identity]Kitty Forman: Merry Christmas, Bob.[Kitty walks away]Kitty Forman: [mumbles angrily] Mrs. Claus needs a drink.[the cop approaches Bob, who still does not understand what the kid accused him of]

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