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[first lines]Sheldon Cooper: Alright. I'm moving my infantry division, augmented by a battalion of orcs from Lord of the Rings. We fight the Tennessee Volunteers, and the North once again wins the Battle of Gettysburg.Howard Wolowitz: Not so fast. Remember the South still has two infantry divisions, plus Superman and Godzilla.Leonard Hofstadter: No, no, no no. Orcs are magic; Superman is vulnerable to magic. Not to mention, you already lost Godzilla to the Illinois Cavalry and Hulk.Raj Koothrappali: Why don't you just have Robert E. Lee charge the line with Shiva and Ganesh?Penny: Hey, you guys ready to order?Howard Wolowitz: Hang on, honey. Shiva and Ganesh? The Hindu gods against the entire Union army?Leonard Hofstadter: And orcs!Penny: I'll be back.Raj Koothrappali: Excuse me, Ganesh is the remover of obstacles and Shiva's the destroyer. When the smoke clears Abraham Lincoln will be speaking Hindi and drinking mint juleps.Penny: Alright, my boss says you have to either order or leave and never come back.

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