The Big Bang Theory2007

[first lines]

Sheldon Cooper:
Alright. I'm moving my infantry division, augmented by a battalion of orcs from Lord of the Rings. We fight the Tennessee Volunteers, and the North once again wins the Battle of Gettysburg.

Howard Wolowitz:
Not so fast. Remember the South still has two infantry divisions, plus Superman and Godzilla.

Leonard Hofstadter:
No, no, no no. Orcs are magic; Superman is vulnerable to magic. Not to mention, you already lost Godzilla to the Illinois Cavalry and Hulk.

Raj Koothrappali:
Why don't you just have Robert E. Lee charge the line with Shiva and Ganesh?

Penny:
Hey, you guys ready to order?

Howard Wolowitz:
Hang on, honey. Shiva and Ganesh? The Hindu gods against the entire Union army?

Leonard Hofstadter:
And orcs!

Penny:
I'll be back.

Raj Koothrappali:
Excuse me, Ganesh is the remover of obstacles and Shiva's the destroyer. When the smoke clears Abraham Lincoln will be speaking Hindi and drinking mint juleps.

Penny:
Alright, my boss says you have to either order or leave and never come back.