[Julian and George find a rundown hut with rusting cars, bank safes and coffins lying around outside]Julian: Look, that car's got no motor tax.George: Maybe it belongs to an illegal immigrant.Julian: I shouldn't be surprised.George: What a strange, desolate place.[Julian knocks on the door. A huge, hairy man wearing a tatty string vest and sunglasses steps out]Dirty Dick: [Cockney accent] Yeah?Julian: Ah, good evening. Uh, we're the Famous Five and we're camping down by the lake and we need some food. We'd like some free range eggs, you own home-baked bread, some of your own cured bacon and your own honey and some tomatoes from your garden would do splendidly.Dirty Dick: Oh yeah? What do think this is, 'Arrods? Come on, piss off now! And don't speak to any coppers about me!Julian: I don't think I really like the tone of your voice.Fingers: [offscreen - also has a Cockney accent] 'Oo's that, then Dick? It's not the rozzers, I 'ope!Dirty Dick: Nah, just a couple of smarmy brats!Fingers: Tell 'em to scarper! There's some more dirty work to do.George: Wait a minute! You must be Dirty Dick.Dirty Dick: [nervous] No, no, my name's not Dirty Dick. It's er, it's er... Dirty Douglas!Julian: Look here. There's something very queer going on. What exactly are you doing in there?Dirty Dick: Oh, so you've tumbled our game, have you?Fingers: What's that? What's that? Are we done for, Dirty?Dirty Dick: Sorry, Fingers. I'm afraid we're bang to rights this time.Fingers: Let's make a run for it, Dirty! You start the car while I grab the sparklers. We can still get away with it!Dirty Dick: It's no good, Fingers! These kids are far too clever for us! We'll get 15 years each for this!Fingers: Oh, no! Not another stretch in clink! I'm gonna take the easy way out![sound of a gunshot, then a thud]George: Urgh! What a horrid, common voice he's got!Dirty Dick: Oh well, I suppose I'd better go down to the police station and get nicked, then.
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