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Shirley Renfrew Partridge: [the Family is backstage, about to make their debut in Las Vegas. Shirley is having stage fright][Through clenched teeth]Shirley Renfrew Partridge: I'm having trouble moving my mouth.Danny: Don't worry about it, it's perfectly normal.Shirley Renfrew Partridge: How can I sing if I can't move my mouth?Keith: Just fake it, ok?[Shirley suddenly bends over and clutches her knees]Keith: Why are you feeling your knees?Shirley Renfrew Partridge: I think they're locked.Danny: Good. That'll stop you from falling if you pass out.Laurie Partridge: Don't worry Mom, we'll all be here to help you.Christopher "Chris" Partridge #1: Sure, you don't have to worry about a thing!Shirley Renfrew Partridge: Aren't you kids nervous at all?Laurie Partridge: No.Danny: Why should we be nervous? We're terrific!Club Manager: All right, places everyone. We're ready to go!Keith: [as they quickly take their places] You're gonna be wonderful, honest, Mom.Laurie Partridge: This is the big time. You'll be great, you'll be fantastic, nothing to worry about.Danny: Relax, Mom, but just remember our whole future depends on these next few minutes.Shirley Renfrew Partridge: [groans] Ohhhhhhhhh...

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