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Dave Best: 'Ey, I'm rough today me me guts are well off, I had a bad pint last night.Jim Royle: I bet you washed them down with a few more, though, didn't you.Antony Royle: How d'ya know if its a bad pint?Dave Best: Cos you can shit through the eye of a needle.Jim Royle: Where did you go?Dave Best: Pear tree.Jim Royle: Bloody hell, you don't wanna drink in there.Dave Best: Well, I know that now, don't I?Jim Royle: Bloody hell, He doesn't clean his pumps him.Antony Royle: No, actually the lagers all right.Jim Royle: How would you know, soft lad?Antony Royle: Dad, I'm 15.Jim Royle: 'Ey! listen if I ever catch you in The Feathers I'll clip you round the bloody ear, you do not shit on your own doorstep!Dave Best: I nearly did last night, I couldn't get the key in quick enough.

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