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Charlie Harper: [Charlie, Alan and Jake visit the sporting goods store to get Jake a jock strap, which he doesn't want] Think of it as a bra for your balls.Jake Harper: [sarcastically] Oh, *now* I want one.Alan Harper: What size are you?Jake Harper: How should I know?Charlie Harper: I think they have one of those measuring things, you know, like at the shoe store - length, width...Jake Harper: [to his Dad, somewhat desperately] He's kidding, right?Alan Harper: Yes, he's joking... Here, "Teen".Charlie Harper: Think you can fit your junk into that?Jake Harper: I'll make it fit, let's just go.Charlie Harper: No, no, no, put it on over your pants. We'll take a look.Jake Harper: The heck you will!Alan Harper: Charlie, you're embarrassing him.Charlie Harper: Of course I am. That's why I came.

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