Alan Harper: Any luck?Charlie Harper: The little snothead kicked me out of his room.Alan Harper: Welcome to the club.Charlie Harper: Yeah, but I'm the cool uncle.Alan Harper: Oh, and I'm the uncool dad?Charlie Harper: Don't get defensive. You did the best you could.Alan Harper: Hey, hey, that kid has nothing to complain about. He's never been spanked, he's never even been yelled at, and even while my marriage was collapsing he always came first.Charlie Harper: Well, I'm glad you're not defensive.Alan Harper: He has a great life. He gets everything he wants. I deny him nothing. Oh, my God, what have I done to my son?Charlie Harper: Alan, I was kidding. You're a terrific father.
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