Two and a Half Men2003

Alan Harper:
Any luck?

Charlie Harper:
The little snothead kicked me out of his room.

Alan Harper:
Welcome to the club.

Charlie Harper:
Yeah, but I'm the cool uncle.

Alan Harper:
Oh, and I'm the uncool dad?

Charlie Harper:
Don't get defensive. You did the best you could.

Alan Harper:
Hey, hey, that kid has nothing to complain about. He's never been spanked, he's never even been yelled at, and even while my marriage was collapsing he always came first.

Charlie Harper:
Well, I'm glad you're not defensive.

Alan Harper:
He has a great life. He gets everything he wants. I deny him nothing. Oh, my God, what have I done to my son?

Charlie Harper:
Alan, I was kidding. You're a terrific father.