Paul Spooner: Dear Miss Kampenfelt, since you expressed a desire today to learn more about adult life, here are 10 bitter truths for your reading pleasure.Paul Spooner: 1. Complete honesty is a complete lie.Paul Spooner: 2. Two, marriage is sacred only to those who have never been married.Paul Spooner: 3. Three, money is more integral to happiness than romantic love.Paul Spooner: 4. Four, every human being is a contradiction. Some hide it better than others.Paul Spooner: 5. Five, never underestimate the tendency of human beings to act contrary to their own best interests.Paul Spooner: 6. Six, were it not for the fear of getting caught, most of us would behave like savages.Paul Spooner: 7. Seven, all sex has consequences, most of them dire.Paul Spooner: 8. The older you get, the faster time flies until months pass like days.Paul Spooner: 9. There's no such thing as living happily ever after.Paul Spooner: 10. Everything gets worse.
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