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Tommy: How's it going with Gail? Spud: No joy yet. Tommy: How long is it? Spud: Six weeks. Tommy: Six weeks! Spud: It's a nightmare. She told me she didn't want our relationship to start on a physical basis as that is how it would be principally defined from then on in. Tommy: Where did she come up with that? Spud: She read it in Cosmopolitan. Tommy: Six weeks and no sex? Spud: I've got balls like watermelons, I'm telling you.

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