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Fraida Felcher: So, guys, there's still one thing I don't understand. How could either of you have possibly thought that you were Penny's father?Harry Dunne: Well, why wouldn't we?Lloyd Christmas: Yeah!Fraida Felcher: Because we never had sex.Lloyd Christmas: Oh. Yeah. Well, you could've fooled us.Harry Dunne: Yeah, nice try, Snow White. Does the word "hot tub" jog your memory? If I recall, I played with your boobies for a long time that night. The mother boat, the windshield wipers, the punching bag.Fraida Felcher: You know Harry, you can't get a woman pregnant by manhandling her breasts.Harry Dunne: Oh, really? Well, then, why'd your doorbells get so hard?Lloyd Christmas: Yeah. And did you forget about the French tickler in the back of the van?Fraida Felcher: Putting a frilly glow-in-the-dark condom on your finger is not the same as having sex.Lloyd Christmas: What if I go like this?Lloyd Christmas: [wiggles his finger]Fraida Felcher: No.

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    D Helen Keller