Dumb and Dumber To2014

Fraida Felcher:
So, guys, there's still one thing I don't understand. How could either of you have possibly thought that you were Penny's father?

Harry Dunne:
Well, why wouldn't we?

Lloyd Christmas:
Yeah!

Fraida Felcher:
Because we never had sex.

Lloyd Christmas:
Oh. Yeah. Well, you could've fooled us.

Harry Dunne:
Yeah, nice try, Snow White. Does the word "hot tub" jog your memory? If I recall, I played with your boobies for a long time that night. The mother boat, the windshield wipers, the punching bag.

Fraida Felcher:
You know Harry, you can't get a woman pregnant by manhandling her breasts.

Harry Dunne:
Oh, really? Well, then, why'd your doorbells get so hard?

Lloyd Christmas:
Yeah. And did you forget about the French tickler in the back of the van?

Fraida Felcher:
Putting a frilly glow-in-the-dark condom on your finger is not the same as having sex.

Lloyd Christmas:
What if I go like this?

Lloyd Christmas:
[wiggles his finger]

Fraida Felcher:
No.