[Grunkle Stan is wearing the Truth Telling Teeth, a set of golden dentures that force the wearer to tell the truth]
Mystery Shack Customer: Excuse me, do you think this T-shirt is my size?
Stan: Never mind the T-shirt! Hey everybody! Look at this guy's abnormal and unattractive face! [stands on the counter, grinning]
Mabel: [leading the customer away] I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
[Cut to Stan writing in his office]
Stan: D-doing my taxes!
Dipper: [reads a tax form with "I HAVE COMMITTED TAX FRAUD" written across in bold red ink] Uh, Grunkle Stan, why did you write this?
Stan: Because I regularly commit massive tax fraud!
Dipper: ...Might wanna tuck that one away, there. [drops the form into a shredder]
[Cut to Stan, Mabel, and Dipper watching TV]
Circus Performer on TV: [juggling while riding a unicycle surrounded by three crocodiles] Do-do-doooo! Oh no! [Dipper and Mabel laugh]
Stan: Sometimes I think: is this all there is? Is life just some kind of horrific joke without a punchline? That we're all just biding our time until the sweet, sweet release of death?
[Dipper and Mabel are visibly disturbed.]
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