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Dr. Wilson: [House is attempting to put on a tie before his date with Cameron] The wide side's too short. You're gonna look like Lou Costello. Dr. House: This is a mistake. I don't know how to have casual conversation. You think you're talking about one thing, and either you are and it's incredibly boring, or you're not because it's subtext and you need a decoder ring. Dr. Wilson: Open doors for her, help her with her chair... Dr. House: I have been on a date. Dr. Wilson: Uh, not since disco died. Comment on her shoes, her earrings, and then move on to D.H.A.: her Dreams, Hopes, and Aspirations. Trust me — panty-peeler. Oh, and if you need condoms, I've got some. Dr. House: [sarcastically] Did your wife give them to you? Dr. Wilson: Drug rep. They got antibiotics built in, somehow. Dr. House: I should cancel. I've got a patient in surgery tomorrow. [House moves to the kitchen] Dr. Wilson: And if you were a surgeon, that would actually matter.

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