[first lines] Donna: Hey, there you are. Since it's your retirement party tonight, if the leaves in the front yard got raked up today, that'd be great. Kevin: Oh, that'd be unbelievable. Donna: What happened to, "I got you"? I mean you're home now. You have nothing but free time. Kevin: But that's the misconception about retired people. Some of us are very active, like me. I got the guys coming over 11:00 for a little day drinking. Then we're all gonna learn how to use crossbows. Jack: Hey, Dad? Kevin: Yeah. Jack: I probably shouldn't go to school today. I-I think I got a concussion from football. Kevin: Jack, you play "Madden" football. Jack: Yeah. but yesterday I got excited, and I hit myself in the face with the controller. I'm still not right. Sara: He's got be a huge letdown after me, right? Kevin: I got to be honest. Neither of you knocked it out of the park. Donna: Okay, I think what your father means is we love you both. Now, backpacks are packed. Let's go. Have a great day. Sara and Jack: Bye. Kevin: Love you. Goodbye. Be good, okay? Donna: Oh, I got you a little retirement gift. I mean, if you have time in your schedule. Kevin: I will move some things around. Let me see. What do you get? Donna: To a great cop, for a job well done. It's a Gyro Bowl. Kevin: Oh, I know what it is, Donna. It's the bowl that won't spill. How did you know I wanted it? Donna: Every time the commercial came on, you kicked out your legs and you screamed. Kevin: Yeah, and it worked because now I have one. All right. Let's test this baby out. We got to start small. Let's try some pretzels, okay? Donna: I was worried that when you retired, we'd be bored. Okay. Kevin: Now, give me a scenario where I might spill it. Come on. Donna: Okay, you're on a fishing boat, having a snack. Kevin: Oh. I like that. Donna: Yeah. Kevin: Oh. look... look at that. Ooh, ooh, ooh. Donna: Look at that. Oh. But the water's choppy. Kevin: Oh, is it choppy? Donna: No, it's choppier than that. Oh. Yeah, ooh, ooh. And then... And then a huge wave smashes into you! Oh! Kevin: Oh, nothing! Nothing! Donna: All right, I want to do it. It's my turn. Kevin: Okay, uh, we got to kick it up a notch, though. Let's go with uh... We're going with ketchup. Donna: Okay. All right, great. All right. Kevin: Ready? Donna: Oh, see, this is why I love you. You had no fear. Kevin: Yep. Donna: Okay, good. All right. Now you give me a scenario. Kevin: Okay, now, you are a prostitute. You... Wow, I'm sorry. I don't even know where that came from. I don't even... Donna: Wow is right. Oh, and you know what? How about I am a school nurse who's about to be late? Kevin: You're not a prostitute. You're a princess. Yeah, no, no you're a good princess. Seriously, no, you're a princess who donates to charity, and you started your own foundation. Donna: I got to go. Kevin: Oh. Donna: I love you. Bye.

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