Tucker: [Radio sounds] Come in, Blue Command. This is Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha. Do you read me? Caboose: [Cleaning Tucker's armor] Ok, that is the last of it. Your armor is clean now! Tucker: Did you get all the black stuff off? Vic: This is Blue Command, come in Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha. Tucker: Hello! Command! We need help. Vic: Roger that, Blood Gulch, what is your request? Tucker: I don't know what the technical military term is for it... but, uh, we're pretty fucked up down here. We need men. Vic: ...Dude, how long have you guys been down there? Tucker: No no no... not like that! We need more men to help us. Vic: Roger that. Did you get the tank we sent? Tucker: Yeah but that got blown up too! Vic: Wow... sucks to be you. Tucker: Yeah, we know. Vic: Okay, here's what I can do: the nearest blue forces can be there in sixteen days, or I- Tucker: Sixteen days?! That's almost two weeks! Vic: Or I can hire a nearby freelancer and get him there within a few hours. Caboose: I like the in an hour one. Tucker: Yeah, me too. Roger that, Command, we prefer the quicker solution. Vic: Ten four, Blood Gulch. We will contact Freelancer Tex and have him there post haste. Command out. Tucker: Whoever he is, make sure he can fix a tank. Caboose: What's a freelancer? Tucker: Freelancers are independent, they're not red or blue. They're just guns-for-hire who will fight for whoever has the most money. Caboose: Like a mercenary. Tucker: Right. Or like your Mom when the rent's due. Caboose: Oh, that's funny. Tucker: Yeah? You didn't think that was too obvious? Caboose: No, no, not at all. That was... that was good Church: [appearing before Caboose and Tucker as a ghost and in a spooky voice] Tuuuckeeerrr... Tuuuuuucckkeeeeerrr... Tucker: (alarmed) WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? Church: I am the ghost of Church and I've come back with a waaaarrrniiiinnng... Caboose: You're not Church. Church is blue! You're white! Church: (normal voice) Rookie, shut up, man! I'm a freaking ghost. Have you ever seen a blue ghost before? Tucker: Yeah, that's definitely him. Church: Now I gotta start over again. [clears throat and speaks in spooky voice] Tuuuuckeeerrr, Tuuuucckkeeeeerrrr, I've come back with a waaaaarrrniiiinng! Tucker: Is it really necessary to do the voice? Caboose: Yeah, it's kind of annoying. Church: Fine. Ok, here's the deal. I've come back from the dead to give you a warning about Tex. Don't let- Caboose: What's the warning? Church: Shut up for one second and I'll tell you! Caboose: Oh, sorry. Church: Seriously, man! I mean, I'm coming back from the Great Beyond here! Do you think this is easy? It's not! It's not like just... you know pop in and out whenever I feel like it, it takes a lot of concentration! Caboose: (dejectedly) Sorry. Church: I mean, it's bad enough that you killed me to begin with, but now I come back and I can't even get a word in edgewise, man! [exhales] Okay, here's the deal. Caboose: Is this the warning? Church: Alright, that's it. I swear to God, Caboose... your ass is haunted. When we're done here, I'm gonna haunt you. Tucker: Yeah, you're even starting to bug me. Church: Okay, Tucker. You remember that I told you I was stationed on Sidewinder before they transferred me here to Blood Gulch, right? Tucker: No! Caboose: Sidewinder? Isn't that the ice planet? Church: Yes. Caboose: Cool! What was that like?! Church: Um... it was cold. Caboose: That's it? Just cold? Church: (annoyed) What do you want from me? A poem?! It's a planet made entirely out of ice. It's really fuckin' cold. Tucker: Would you just let him talk?

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