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Tucker: What's the rush of getting this thing fixed anyway? Sarge: Listen, dirtbag. I know on blue team, you like to lollygag a beer- Tucker: There is no blue team. It's all a lie. Red and blue are the same. Grif: Oh, don't start that crap again. Simmons: You sound like a conspiracy nut when you talk about that stuff. [sarcastically] The government put a chip in my brain! Grif: [also sarcastically] The president can hear my thoughts! Donut: [sarcastically, while also in great pain] We never landed on the sun! Grif: [sarcastic gasp] They put fluoride in my water! Simmons: Actually, that one's true. Grif: It is? No wonder I listen to so much pop music.

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