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Doc: Hey, who's the yellow soldier? Tucker: That's just Sister. She's new. Doc: No one told me about a new arrival! I'm supposed to examine everyone before they assume active duty! Tucker: Don't sweat it, I already checked her out for you. Diagnosis: F-I-N-E. [pause] That spells fine. Doc: Thanks, but I think a trained medical professional should be the one to- Tucker: I'm a doctor! A doctor of love. PhD. Certified in Love-ology. General Harrastitioner. Sexacologist. Doc: First of all, love is not an officially recognized medical specialty, and also, PhDs? Ha! Not really doctors! Tucker: Dude, you're a dork. Sister: Hey. Tucker: What's up, Sis? What'd you and Tex talk about? Sister: Uh, she was just talking about everyone here, how you're all idiots and jerks, but you guys are her idiots and jerks, that if I tried to become more popular than her she would talk about me behind my back and turn everyone against me, and then I would cry and everybody would hate me. You know, girl stuff! Tucker: Cool. Oh hey, speaking of girl stuff, this is Doc. Sister: Hi! Doc: Uh, hello, nice to meet you, I'm the medic, and if it's all right with you I need to give you a quick physical examination since you're new. Do you want to come in the base where you might feel more comfortable taking off all your clothes? Sister: Sure. Lead the way. See ya, Tucker. Tucker: ...What the fuck just happened?

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