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Tucker: Hey Church, I'm still trying to figure out what to get Caboose. Church: Christmas is in seven hours, moron. Tucker: I know. If you wait until last minute, you get all the good deals. Church: Ah, just get everybody the same thing. That's what I did. Tucker: Let me guess, everyone's getting a lump of coal. Church: FUCK no! Do you know how much coal costs!? It's like five bucks a ton! I'm not spending that much on you losers! (short pause) You're all getting a lump of smoal. Tucker: What's smoal? Church: It's a knockoff synthetic coal. It's just as good as the real thing. Except when you burn it, it doesn't make any heat. It just makes smoke. Tucker: Wha-what? How does it make smoke with no heat? Church: How the fuck do I know? Ask the fine makers of smoal.

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