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James Bond: I was wrong about you, Christmas Jones. Christmas Jones: How so? James Bond: I thought Christmas only came once a year. Christmas Jones: [giggles] Oh, James. [They kiss; cut to the secret lab where James enters] Technician 1: There he is! Technician 2: Oh, I heard you saved the world again! Technician 1: So you and Christmas Jones, huh? I can't believe you're tapping that! James Bond: Sorry to break it to you, boys. Miss Jones is already yesterday's news. [Flashback shows James and Christmas riding in the car] Christmas Jones: This is me, up on the left. James Bond: [getting carried away] Oh, that's odd. I'd have thought you lived on 34th street. Christmas Jones: [nervous chuckle] Oh, right, because of...my name. Ha. [Scene shows James having sex with Christmas] James Bond: All right, love, time to dick your halls. Christmas Jones: Could you maybe stop doing the pun thing? James Bond: I can't believe I made it this far into Christmas without wrapping my present. Christmas Jones: Wha-wait a second! I'm not on the pill! James Bond: Well, I hope you've been dreaming of a white Christmas. Christmas Jones: [pushes James back on the side of the bed] Ugh! I just got a headache. James Bond: So, when do I get to meet your friends? Christmas Jones: Uh... [Scene cuts to the club party] James Bond: [to the party goers] So I said, "I thought Christmas only came once a year!" Christmas Jones: [embarrassed] James... Female Party Goer: This guy's a tool. Christmas Jones: No, no. He's got a really cool car. [Scene shows James and Christmas at the restaurant] James Bond: You're breaking up with me? Christmas Jones: There's nothing wrong with you, James. Maybe it's just an age thing. James Bond: What, you think I'm too old for Christmas? Christmas Jones: [nervous chuckle] If that helps you, yes. [Cuts to James, who is drunk, crying for being dumped] James Bond: [sobbing; takes out a pen gun, and clicks, but it's empty] Oh, come on! One of these [bleep]ing things has to be loaded! [groans, cries] [Cut back to the present] James Bond: So I just looked at her, and I said, "Well, I'm sorry, dear, but I'm canceling Christmas!" Technician 1: Oh, you dog! Technician 2: You're always humping and dumping. You're the best, James! James Bond: Ah, you know me, I got to be James. [chuckles, whimpers]

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