Announcer: And now back to Living Lohan. Dina Lohan: Ali, who drank all the [bleep]ing orange juice? Ali Lohan: I don't know mom, maybe the [bleep]ing Orange Juice Fairy did it! Dina: Don't get smart with me! Ali: Well, don't you be a big ranting bitch face! Both: I NEED A CIGARETTE!! Dina: Augh! Why are all these cameras always invading my privacy? [Gyro-Robo is playing next to a sprinkler in his yard with a broom] Daniel/Gyro-Robo: Sorry, Cobra Commander, but your Weather Dominator, currently stuck on rain, apparently, is no match for the ninja skills of Snake Eyes! [Ali peers over the fence looking at Gyro-Robo] Oops, supposed to be me. Ali: Ha, ha, ha, ha! What are you doing? Daniel/Gyro-Robo: That is no concern of yours, civilian! Identify yourself at once! Preferably with a capable, shapeable file card. Ali: I'm Ali Lohan. Duh! My mom and I just moved into this crappy neighborhood to shoot our TV show, called Living Lohan. Daniel/Gyro-Robo: Aren't you a little young to be smoking? Ali: Aren't you a little fat to be fat? Knock-knock. Who's there? You love food! [jumps off the fence] Daniel's Mother: Honey, were you talking to the new neighbor? I think their dog's been pooping in our yard. Daniel/Gyro-Robo: What? Awww, poop! [goes to Lindsay's kitchen] Lindsay Lohan: Go to hell, Mom! I told you! I'm not gonna be on your show! It's demeaning to my career. [makes "cut" sign to camera man] I'm gonna try that again with 10 percent more conviction. Or possibly, 1000 PERCENT!!! [doorbell rings] Who in God's green Smurf are you? Daniel/Gyro-Robo: Madame, does it look like my name is Tripwire? Because as I am not the GI Joe minesweeper, I would appreciate it if your dog didn't leave chocolate land mines all over my yard! Lindsay: Okay, nothing you said made any sense! Daniel/Gyro-Robo: Don't let your dog go poopie! Lindsay: Oh, OH!! [flashback to one nighttime] Ha, ha, ha, ha! Dah, dah, dah, dum, dum! Ha, night dump! I'm just fertilizing the lawn, aah! [back to present] Bad dog! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! [At Daniel/Gyro-Robo's front lawn] Daniel/Gyro-Robo: Firebolt! Firebolt! Terrence: Freethyro! Freethyro! Nerd: Ork, ork, ork! I'm an ork! Daniel/Gyro-Robo: Terrence, I gotta say, I'm not buying this at all, so... Lindsay: Beep, Beep! Honk, honk! I'm Herbie! [hits Daniel/Gyro-Robo and Terrence] Terrence: Hey! Lindsay: Loud horn! [Bleep] You! Good job, Herbie! Daniel/Gyro-Robo: Excuse me! This is a parallel universe, where savagery meets sorcery! There is no Herbie. Lindsay: Herbie is magic, idiot! [kicks nerd down] Beep beep! Daniel/Gyro-Robo: Stop it! Lindsay: Aughh! Why are you always following me? [cues cameraman to come closer, whispers] Follow me. Munson: ...And in this corner, it's Munson! [steps on Terrence] Daniel/Gyro-Robo: Get out of here, Munson! Munson: [knocks Gyro-Robo down, then slaps him Munson one, gay crap zero! Daniel/Gyro-Robo: Stop it, Munson! Oh, how I hate you! Lindsay: Beep, beep!. [looks at Munson] Oooh, a bad boy! Munson: Oh, a damaged chick with daddy issues. [slaps Gyro-Robo] Hey baby! Lindsay: I don't know what that is, but I hope it means penis! [Daniel is watching Living Lohan on TV] Lindsay: Too bad, mom. I love him, and I'm pregnant!! Dina: Well, so am I! Lindsay Well, your baby's gonna have cobwebs, cause you're all old, and your notaries are all bunched up and dusty!! Dina: [Bleep] You! Ali: Why didn't anyone pick me up after my [bleep]ing ultrasound?! Daniel/Gyro-Robo: Ah, looks like I'm moving again. Dina: I'M THE GREATEST MOM IN THE WORLD!!!

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