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[The scene opens with Santa's custom sleigh and his reindeer flying in the sky] Comet: How's the view back there, buddy? The light at the end of the tunnel is my ass! [The reindeer behind Comet makes disgusted groans. Cut to Santa hearing a cry for help] Voice: Help me! Santa Claus: Huh? Put her down, boys. [they landed the sleigh before he, Comet and his reindeer all gathered at a well and see a little boy, who is unseen, is trapped in the well] Help is coming, little boy! Are you hurt?! Little Boy: [from the well] I've been down here three days with no food or water! And I pooped in my pants! Santa Claus: Three days?! He could die of thirst before we reach him! Comet: Not on my watch! [starts peeing down the well] Santa: What are you-? Comet! Stop peeing on that child! Comet: I saw it on Man vs. Wild. You can drink pee, pee it out and drink it again! Three times if you want! Little Boy: This rain tastes like oats. [Clock transition with the sound of jingle bells] Santa Claus: [gets off his cell phone] The fire department's on its way. Comet: There's no time! Santa Claus: Comet! No! [Comet soars in the air and dives into the well] Comet?! Comet: Um, okay. I'm stuck like halfway down. Almost there. [Santa facepalms himself. Another clock transition with the sound of a siren. The fire department and the police arrive] Fireman: We could throw down a rope and a harness down to the kid, except your reindeer's plugging up the hole now. Comet: Just throw down a grenade! Santa Claus: What?! Comet: Throw down one grenade to launch me toward the bottom. Then I'll grab the boy with my teeth. And you can throw down a second grenade to launch me to the surface! Policeman: Your deer don't know [bleep] about grenades, does he? Santa Claus: He spends most of his life on a frozen tundra. Reindeer don't know [bleep] about [bleep], quite frankly. Fireman: So, listen, [the two reindeer look at each other and toss a grenade down the well] thanks to your deer, we're gonna have to excavate half this field. [The grenade explodes and Santa gains consciousness] Santa Claus: [shocked] Oh, my God! [the explosion has blown up the well and everything around it. The two reindeer that threw down the grenade had their heads blown off and their corpses faint] Comet?! Little boy?! [Fade to Comet, Santa and the little boy, who is now seen, in a cast and bandages in a hospital room] Little Boy: Thank you, Comet! You saved me! Comet: Aw, ain't know thing. Santa Claus: Well, actually, about 100 volunteers working around the clock with heavy machinery would've suf- Little Boy: I love you, Mr. Comet! Comet: I love you too, Mr. Little Boy! [Comet and the little boy both hug] Santa Claus: [leaves] That still freaks me out. Comet: [follows with his legs missing and he's floating in midair] Yeah. It's 100% badass, alright. [Cut to Comet and Santa outside the hospital] Santa Claus: [gets on Comet's back] Take us back to the North Pole! And-And don't say the line. Comet: Oh, I gotta say the line! Please?! Please?! Santa Claus: [sighs] Fine, fine. Whatever. Comet: Ahem. Legs? Where we're going, we don't need legs! [soars off with Santa] Yeah! [towards the camera] And away we go! [Christmas Special ends]

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