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[Daytime at Royal Woods Middle School…] Lincoln: Ok, people. We're not leaving here until we've come up with some hot stories. Let's go, the news doesn't make itself. Clyde: Actually, it does. Lincoln: Helping or hurting, Clyde, helping or hurting? I'm sorry. I'm a little on edge this morning. Rusty: [leaning in close to Zach and Liam] He's got a butt pimple that's been revealing barking at him. [Zach and Liam both wince in disgust] Lincoln: I wanted to keep that between us, Rusty. I guess I should have been more clear when I said, "Let's keep that between us." Now, does anyone have a news story? [Stella raises up her hand] Stella. Stella: Are butt pimples contagious? Zach: I have absolute proof that the school nurse might be an alien. Liam: I don't know what's wrong with that melon story I pitched. Thing's grown to darn near the size of a baby head. Clyde: What's the hook? Why are we watching? Liam: Because, it's grown to darn near the size of a baby head. You put a live feed on that and the audience will be happier than a kitten chasing a leaky cow. Lincoln: So we got nothing. Liam: Is that nothing with the melon, or nothing without the melon? Rusty: Thank God for "Real Talk with Rusty". Without my show, our ratings would be in the toilet. Lincoln: [to the viewers] "Real Talk with Rusty" has been the top-rated middle school news show in the tri-state area for seven months running.

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