The Really Loud House, Season 1

[Daytime at Royal Woods Middle School…]

Lincoln:
Ok, people. We're not leaving here until we've come up with some hot stories. Let's go, the news doesn't make itself.

Clyde:
Actually, it does.

Lincoln:
Helping or hurting, Clyde, helping or hurting? I'm sorry. I'm a little on edge this morning.

Rusty:
[leaning in close to Zach and Liam] He's got a butt pimple that's been revealing barking at him.

[Zach and Liam both wince in disgust]

Lincoln:
I wanted to keep that between us, Rusty. I guess I should have been more clear when I said, "Let's keep that between us." Now, does anyone have a news story? [Stella raises up her hand] Stella.

Stella:
Are butt pimples contagious?

Zach:
I have absolute proof that the school nurse might be an alien.

Liam:
I don't know what's wrong with that melon story I pitched. Thing's grown to darn near the size of a baby head.

Clyde:
What's the hook? Why are we watching?

Liam:
Because, it's grown to darn near the size of a baby head. You put a live feed on that and the audience will be happier than a kitten chasing a leaky cow.

Lincoln:
So we got nothing.

Liam:
Is that nothing with the melon, or nothing without the melon?

Rusty:
Thank God for "Real Talk with Rusty". Without my show, our ratings would be in the toilet.

Lincoln:
[to the viewers] "Real Talk with Rusty" has been the top-rated middle school news show in the tri-state area for seven months running.