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Lindsay: [outside a women's health center] So then I heated up the condom in the microwave and I got a turkey baster. Protester: Wait, I need you to back up. Lindsay: Okay, so I wanted a popsicle... Gretchen: Lindsay, do not let those pro-life assholes talk you out of your legal right! Lindsay: It's okay. I was already having second thoughts before this nice lady came over. Gretchen: What, why? Lindsay: If Paul and I get divorced, I'm not gonna have a family anymore. Family. Name one family that's just one person. Gretchen: Suddenly Susan. Listen, I know that becoming a real human being is a scary thing, but I'll help you. I got your back always. Lindsay: Thanks, Gretch. All right. I'm ready. Gretchen: Bam, nice try, terrorists. Another victory for women's rights. Protester: Actually, I was gonna tell her to do it. In my book, there are extenuating circumstances--rape, incest, and whatever this is.

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