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[Following Tyrion's arrival on the Small Council]Cersei Lannister: I would like to know how you tricked Father into this!Tyrion Lannister: If I were capable of tricking Father, I'd be Emperor of the world by now. You brought this on yourself.Cersei Lannister: I've done nothing!Tyrion Lannister: Quite right, you did nothing when your son called for Ned Stark's head! Now the entire North has risen up against us!Cersei Lannister: I tried to stop it!Tyrion Lannister: Did you? You failed. That bit of theatre will haunt our family for a generation.Cersei Lannister:[dismissive] Robb Stark is a child.Tyrion Lannister: Who's won every battle he's fought! Do you understand we're losing the war?!Cersei Lannister: What do you know about warfare?Tyrion Lannister: Nothing. But I know people, and I know that our enemies hate each other almost as much as they hate us. [pause]Cersei Lannister: Joffrey is King.Tyrion Lannister: Joffrey is King.Cersei Lannister: You are here to advise him.Tyrion Lannister: Only here to advise him. And if the King listens to what I say, the King might just get his uncle Jaime back.Cersei Lannister: [pause] How?Tyrion Lannister: You love your children. It's your one redeeming quality. That and your cheekbones. The Starks love their children as well, and we have two of them.Cersei Lannister: One.Tyrion Lannister: One?!Cersei Lannister: Arya, that little animal, she disappeared.Tyrion Lannister: Disappeared? What, in a puff of smoke? We had three Starks to trade. You chopped one's head off and let another escape. [smugly] Father would be furious. Must be odd for you, to be the disappointing child.

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