Game of Thrones, Season 2

[Following Tyrion's arrival on the Small Council]

Cersei Lannister:
I would like to know how you tricked Father into this!

Tyrion Lannister:
If I were capable of tricking Father, I'd be Emperor of the world by now. You brought this on yourself.

Cersei Lannister:
I've done nothing!

Tyrion Lannister:
Quite right, you did nothing when your son called for Ned Stark's head! Now the entire North has risen up against us!

Cersei Lannister:
I tried to stop it!

Tyrion Lannister:
Did you? You failed. That bit of theatre will haunt our family for a generation.

Cersei Lannister:
[dismissive] Robb Stark is a child.

Tyrion Lannister:
Who's won every battle he's fought! Do you understand we're losing the war?!

Cersei Lannister:
What do you know about warfare?

Tyrion Lannister:
Nothing. But I know people, and I know that our enemies hate each other almost as much as they hate us. [pause]

Cersei Lannister:
Joffrey is King.

Tyrion Lannister:
Joffrey is King.

Cersei Lannister:
You are here to advise him.

Tyrion Lannister:
Only here to advise him. And if the King listens to what I say, the King might just get his uncle Jaime back.

Cersei Lannister:
[pause] How?

Tyrion Lannister:
You love your children. It's your one redeeming quality. That and your cheekbones. The Starks love their children as well, and we have two of them.

Cersei Lannister:
One.

Tyrion Lannister:
One?!

Cersei Lannister:
Arya, that little animal, she disappeared.

Tyrion Lannister:
Disappeared? What, in a puff of smoke? We had three Starks to trade. You chopped one's head off and let another escape. [smugly] Father would be furious. Must be odd for you, to be the disappointing child.