[Bronn enters Tyrion's cell, dressed in noble finery]Bronn: My lord. [makes a mocking bow]Tyrion Lannister: [suspicious] You have new clothes.Bronn: You like them, eh? Gloves are doeskin, softer than a virgin's thighs.Tyrion Lannister: I sent for you days ago.Bronn: I've been a bit busy.Tyrion Lannister: Doing what?!Bronn: My lonesome bachelor days are over. I'm to wed Lollys Stokeworth.Tyrion Lannister: [astounded] Lollys Stokeworth?! She doesn't strike me as your sort of girl.Bronn: I wouldn't say I had a single sort of girl.Tyrion Lannister: She's dim-witted!Bronn: If I wanted wits, I'd marry you.Tyrion Lannister: When my sister arranged this love match, did she mention that Lollys has an older sister?Bronn: Falyse. Aye, I did know about the older sister.Tyrion Lannister: And you do understand the rules of inheritance?Bronn: Falyse is forty and barren.Tyrion Lannister: She still gets Castle Stokeworth when her father dies.Bronn: [nods] She does...unless she happens to perish before her father, then Lollys gets the castle. [sees Tyrion's incredulous expression] What?! Ladies fall from their horse and snap their pretty necks all the time.Tyrion Lannister: You and my sister deserve each other. Why did you bother to come here?Bronn: You once said if anyone ever asked me to sell you out, you'd double their price.Tyrion Lannister: Is it two wives you want or two castles?!Bronn: One of each would do... but if you want me to kill the Mountain for you, it'd better be a damn big castle.Tyrion Lannister: I'm a bit short on castles at the moment, but I can offer you gold and gratitude.Bronn: I have gold. What can I buy with gratitude?Tyrion Lannister: You might be surprised. A Lannister always pays his debts.Bronn: Your sister's a Lannister too.Tyrion Lannister: My wife is heir to Winterfell. If I emerge from this with my head still on my shoulders, I may one day rule the North in her name. I could carve you out a big piece of it.Bronn: If and may and could. It's bloody cold up north. Lollys is soft and warm and close. If I gave you the choice between f***ing Lollys and fighting the Mountain, you'd have your britches down and your cock up before I could blink!Tyrion Lannister: Does he frighten you so much?!Bronn: I'd be a bloody fool if he didn't frighten me. He's freakish big and freakish strong, and quicker than you'd expect for a man of that size. Maybe I could take him, dance around until he's so tired from hacking at me he dropped his sword, get him off his feet somehow...but one misstep and I'm dead. Why should I risk it?Tyrion Lannister: Because you're my friend.Bronn: Aye, I'm your friend...and when have you ever risked your life for me? [Tyrion looks stunned and then despondent] I like you, pampered little shit that you are. I just...like myself more.Tyrion Lannister: I understand.Bronn: I'm sorry it has to be this way.Tyrion Lannister: Why are you sorry? Because you're an evil bastard with no conscience and no heart? That's what I liked about you in the first place. [they shake hands for the last time]Bronn: We had some good days together.Tyrion Lannister: Yes, we did. [Bronn goes to leave, but stops at the door]Bronn: What will you do?Tyrion Lannister: I suppose I'll have to kill the Mountain myself. Won't that make for a great song?Bronn: I hope to hear them sing it one day.

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