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Malcolm: I think is time to move to plan B: lying.[Scene switches to the kitchen]Lois: What book report?Malcolm: I just remembered. I have a big book report due tomorrow, and I haven't even started reading it. [to the camera] Standard technique. You volunteer a small crime to distract them from looking for the big one.Lois: So what's the report on?Malcolm: A Tale of Two Cities.Lois: Oh, how many words?Malcolm: 750.Lois: Was that on your assignment sheet?Malcolm: No, it's an addendum.Lois: When did you get that?Malcolm: Thursday. I didn't bring it home. That's why I forgot to do the assignment. [to the camera] Oh, nice one.Lois: Well, I suppose that if it's school work.Malcolm: [to the camera] That's the mislead. Wait for the reverse.Lois: A Tale of Two Cities. Who's that by?Malcolm: Charles Dickens.Lois: Oh, I thought it was Victor Hugo.Malcolm: No, it's Dickens.Lois: Is that the one with Jean Valjean?Malcolm: That's Les Miserables.Lois: No, no. Isn't A Tale of Two Cities the one with Jean Valjean, where he says: "It's a far, far, better thing I do..." right before he steals the loaf of bread?Malcolm: No. Sidney Carton says that before they behead him.Lois: I thought you hadn't read it.Malcolm: What? No, I said I hadn't written it.Lois: And when is it due?Malcolm: Tomorrow, I told you.Lois: On Les Miserables?Malcolm: Yes. No. A Tale of Two Cities.Lois: Which you haven't read yet.Malcolm: Right.Lois: But you just said you did.Malcolm: No. I-I said I didn't... and then you said... it was Thursday, and... [shouting angrily] Look, I just don't want to go to this stupid funeral!

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