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[At Marlin Academy, Francis is on the phone while nervously watching a mob of cadets set upon another]Eric: Hold him down! You, shave his butt!Francis: Mom, I'm calling to remind you that today is the last day to buy me a plane ticket home for my...[lowers voice] birthday!Lois: Honey, we talked about this. We can't fly you back in the middle of the week; you'd only be here for 8 hours.Francis: But Mom-!Lois: Sweetie, I'm sorry. I wish things were different, but you were just home for Thanksgiving and that's all we can afford right now.Francis: Mom, you don't know what they do to people around here on their...[lowers voice] birthday! They strip you naked and they shave every hair off your body, then they throw you in the reflecting pond! Is that what you want for me?!Lois: I'm impressed, Francis. Your stories are getting better, at least more believable!Francis: What stories?!Lois: Oh, like when you wanted to come home for that party and you swore the Academy was being terrorised by a pack of feral dogs?!Francis: Which were never caught!

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