Malcolm in the Middle, Season 2

[At Marlin Academy, Francis is on the phone while nervously watching a mob of cadets set upon another]

Eric:
Hold him down! You, shave his butt!

Francis:
Mom, I'm calling to remind you that today is the last day to buy me a plane ticket home for my...[lowers voice] birthday!

Lois:
Honey, we talked about this. We can't fly you back in the middle of the week; you'd only be here for 8 hours.

Francis:
But Mom-!

Lois:
Sweetie, I'm sorry. I wish things were different, but you were just home for Thanksgiving and that's all we can afford right now.

Francis:
Mom, you don't know what they do to people around here on their...[lowers voice] birthday! They strip you naked and they shave every hair off your body, then they throw you in the reflecting pond! Is that what you want for me?!

Lois:
I'm impressed, Francis. Your stories are getting better, at least more believable!

Francis:
What stories?!

Lois:
Oh, like when you wanted to come home for that party and you swore the Academy was being terrorised by a pack of feral dogs?!

Francis:
Which were never caught!