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Bud{thinking to himself}: Two girls all over me. God, sometimes do I envy me!Student #1: Hey, did you hear, Miss McGowan quit!Student #2: How come?Student #1: She ran off with an airman from Scott Air Force Base. Said she needed a real man!Bud{thinking to himself}: No problem, more time for the young babe.Bud: Good news babe, my schedule opened up.Brittany: Drop dead. If you couldn't satisfy the needs of an older woman than what the hell would I want with you.Bud: Fine by me. I am always willing to satisfy the next temp that comes by.Ugly old woman enters classroomOld woman: Good morning class. My name is Mrs. Fisher and I will be your English teacher for the remainder of the school year. [Mrs. Fisher sees a student and pinches his cheeks]Bud{thinking to himself}: Welp, one advantage of being rock bottom is that you cannot get any lower.Al barges into classroom with a policemanPoliceman: You are under arrest for conducting a lewd relationship with a minor!Policeman places Mrs. Fisher in handcuffsMrs. Fisher: What on Earth is happening to me?Al: You pudding of a woman! You cannot seduce my son, have your way with him sexually than expect to get away scot-free! I played high school football; I know the rules!Al{talking to Bud}: God damn it son, did you really have to do it with that pruneface?[Policeman ushers out Mrs. Fisher. Al departs classroom too, leaving everyone confused and leaderless. Bud goes up to teacher's desk]Bud: I have no idea who that man was!Bud{thinking to himself}: This is obviously a nightmare. I need to shock myself awake. I know, I will drop my pants in front of the entire class. That will do it![Offscreen, Bud lowers his pants to the shock of entire class]Bud{thinking to himself}: Must be even more intense. I dreamed I have no underwear![Al returns to classrom]Al: Son, I am sorry for that ruckus but damnit I love you! Oh, by the way, Mommy's out of tampons, she needs you to pick up some from the drugstore after school. [Al sees Bud] God damn it, Bud for the love of all that is holy can I ask you for ten minutes of chastity and self-control!

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