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Radar (over the PA): Attention! By command of the new Commanding Officer, all officers report to the Commanding Officer's office, sirs!Potter: Father Mulcahy. (Sees the cross Mulcahy has around his neck). Yes, of course. You're clean.Mulcahy: Thank God, sir.Potter: Catholic?Mulcahy: Yes, sir.Potter: Can you do a Methodist thing for me on Sunday?Mulcahy: I handle all denominations. Colonel.Potter: Any other Methodists in the outfit?Mulcahy: Two or three.Potter: Good. I hate to sing alone. Major Houlihan.Houlihan: Sir!Potter: Chief nurse.Houlihan: Yes, sir.Potter: Ten years, spotless record.Houlihan: Thank you sir.Potter: Major Frank Burns.Houlihan: Just friends, sir. I mean, he's not here, sir. He's indisposed.Potter: Captain Pierce.Hawkeye: Yo!Potter: Keep your yo's to yourself. Captain Hunnicutt.BJ: Yes sir.Potter: You two were reprimanded by Major Burns for setting fire to the latrine.Hawkeye: That was an accident.BJ: We were having a weenie roast.Potter: In the latrine?BJ: We're not allowed to cook in our tents, sir.Potter: Also Pierce, it says here you had a live chicken flown here by helicopter, claiming it was a patient.Hawkeye: That was a rare bird, Colonel. It could tap-dance.Potter: And a year ago the Tokyo Provost Marshal claims you stole a steam shovel.Hawkeye: I couldn't get a cab.Potter: I gather you drink.Hawkeye: Only to excess.

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