M*A*S*H, Season 4

Radar (over the PA):
Attention! By command of the new Commanding Officer, all officers report to the Commanding Officer's office, sirs!

Potter:
Father Mulcahy. (Sees the cross Mulcahy has around his neck). Yes, of course. You're clean.

Mulcahy:
Thank God, sir.

Potter:
Catholic?

Mulcahy:
Yes, sir.

Potter:
Can you do a Methodist thing for me on Sunday?

Mulcahy:
I handle all denominations. Colonel.

Potter:
Any other Methodists in the outfit?

Mulcahy:
Two or three.

Potter:
Good. I hate to sing alone. Major Houlihan.

Houlihan:
Sir!

Potter:
Chief nurse.

Houlihan:
Yes, sir.

Potter:
Ten years, spotless record.

Houlihan:
Thank you sir.

Potter:
Major Frank Burns.

Houlihan:
Just friends, sir. I mean, he's not here, sir. He's indisposed.

Potter:
Captain Pierce.

Hawkeye:
Yo!

Potter:
Keep your yo's to yourself. Captain Hunnicutt.

BJ:
Yes sir.

Potter:
You two were reprimanded by Major Burns for setting fire to the latrine.

Hawkeye:
That was an accident.

BJ:
We were having a weenie roast.

Potter:
In the latrine?

BJ:
We're not allowed to cook in our tents, sir.

Potter:
Also Pierce, it says here you had a live chicken flown here by helicopter, claiming it was a patient.

Hawkeye:
That was a rare bird, Colonel. It could tap-dance.

Potter:
And a year ago the Tokyo Provost Marshal claims you stole a steam shovel.

Hawkeye:
I couldn't get a cab.

Potter:
I gather you drink.

Hawkeye:
Only to excess.