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Lt. Disher: [practicing his funeral song for Stottlemeyer] "Why? [strings a few chords] Tell me why... did a good man have to die? / Shot down.... in his prime... 48...49..." [Stottlemeyer, by this point annoyed at the fact that the song has 15 verses and does not appear to be ending anytime soon, cuts him off]Capt. Stottlemeyer: Randy, he's not dead! [Randy stops] We faked it. Monk jumped off the pier. [mimics splashing] He was wearing a bulletproof vest.Lt. Disher: He's alive? He's alive.Capt. Stottlemeyer: Yep, he's in hiding, until we figure out what the hell's going on.Lt. Disher: I can't believe it!Capt. Stottlemeyer: You okay?Lt. Disher: Yeah, I'm thrilled. Yeah, yeah, I just...Capt. Stottlemeyer: You look disappointed.Lt. Disher: Th-this is the best song I ever wrote.Capt. Stottlemeyer: Well, save it. It's a great song. He's gonna die one day.Lt. Disher: Oh, yeah. You're not gonna shoot him?Capt. Stottlemeyer: You never know.

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