Monk, Season 6

Lt. Disher:
[practicing his funeral song for Stottlemeyer] "Why? [strings a few chords] Tell me why... did a good man have to die? / Shot down.... in his prime... 48...49..." [Stottlemeyer, by this point annoyed at the fact that the song has 15 verses and does not appear to be ending anytime soon, cuts him off]

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Randy, he's not dead! [Randy stops] We faked it. Monk jumped off the pier. [mimics splashing] He was wearing a bulletproof vest.

Lt. Disher:
He's alive? He's alive.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Yep, he's in hiding, until we figure out what the hell's going on.

Lt. Disher:
I can't believe it!

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
You okay?

Lt. Disher:
Yeah, I'm thrilled. Yeah, yeah, I just...

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
You look disappointed.

Lt. Disher:
Th-this is the best song I ever wrote.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Well, save it. It's a great song. He's gonna die one day.

Lt. Disher:
Oh, yeah. You're not gonna shoot him?

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
You never know.