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[Howard's phone rings]Howard: Damn, it's my mother.Bernadette: Are you going answer it?Howard: I'm torn. She might be dying. I wouldn't want to miss that. On the other hand, if I let it go to voice-mail, I could play it over and over.Bernadette: I know how you feel. My mother makes me crazy.Howard: Not as crazy as my mother makes me.Bernadette: Oh, yeah? Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you've had a healthy lunch?Howard: My mother calls me at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.Bernadette: Okay, well, does she lay out your clothes for you in the morning like you're 9 years old?Howard: You live with your mother?Bernadette: No. That's the sad part.Howard: Okay, check this out: my mother made me wear rubber gloves to kindergarten so I wouldn't pick up a disease from the other children.Bernadette: That's nothing! I couldn't ride a bicycle because my mother was afraid I'd hit a bump and lose my virginity.Howard: Oh, wow. You didn't, did you?Bernadette: Not on a bicycle. In a Camry. [short pause]Howard: Corolla! More wine?Bernadette: I'd love some!Howard: Listen, you have to come to Shabbat dinner at my house sometime.Bernadette: Why?Howard: Well, a Catholic girl like you, wearing a big cross like that, might just give my mother the big brain aneurysm I've been hoping for.Bernadette: Okay. But only if you come to Sunday dinner at my house wearing a yarmulke.Howard: It's a date.Penny: [aside to Leonard] Am I a matchmaker or what?

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