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Blackadder: Leave me alone, Baldrick. If I wanted to talk to a vegetable, I'd have bought one at the market! God, I'm wasted here. It's no life for a man of noble blood, being servant to a master with the intellect of a jugged walrus and all the social graces of a potty!Baldrick: I'm wasted too. I've been thinking of bettering myself.Blackadder: Oh really, how?Baldrick: I applied for the job of village idiot of Kensington.Blackadder: Oh. Get anywhere?Baldrick: I got down to the last two, but I failed the final interview.Blackadder: Oh, what went wrong?Baldrick: I turned up. The other bloke was such an idiot, he forgot to.Blackadder: Yes, I'm afraid my ambitions stretch slightly further than professional idiocy in West London! I want to be remembered when I'm dead. I want books written about me. I want songs sung about me. And then, hundreds of years from now, I want episodes of my life to be played out weekly at half past nine by some great heroic actor of the age.Baldrick: Yeah, and I could be played by some tiny tit in a beard.Blackadder: Quite.

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    "Nowadays you can go anywhere in the world in a few hours, and nothing is fabulous any more."
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