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Archie: This is one of the greatest days of my life. Edith: That's wonderful. What is it? Archie: Oh, boy, sensational news. Are you ready? Edith: Yeah, I can hardly wait. Archie: Remember Hank Phillips from the gas station? Edith: Yeah. Archie: He's dead. Edith: Oh my! Mike: A guy dies and you're happy? Archie: Will you wait a minute, I didn't say that. I'm only happy because the guy can't bowl no more. That's all. See, I'm waiting six years to get a spot on this special bowling team, and now there's a spot opened up. I'm sorry the guy is dead, but that's life. Mike: Arch, it's discrimination keeping out a guy because of what he is. Archie: They don't keep nobody out because of what he is. They keep a guy out maybe because of what he ain't. Like, for instance if he ain't a good bowler, he ain't gettin' in—and if he ain't white and Protestant. What could be fairer than that? Mike: Letting in anybody in, no matter what color he is, no matter what religion he is. That's what this country is supposed to be about. Archie: Get out of here, that's only for the civil service.

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