All in the Family, Season 3

Archie:
This is one of the greatest days of my life.

Edith:
That's wonderful. What is it?

Archie:
Oh, boy, sensational news. Are you ready?

Edith:
Yeah, I can hardly wait.

Archie:
Remember Hank Phillips from the gas station?

Edith:
Yeah.

Archie:
He's dead.

Edith:
Oh my!

Mike:
A guy dies and you're happy?

Archie:
Will you wait a minute, I didn't say that. I'm only happy because the guy can't bowl no more. That's all. See, I'm waiting six years to get a spot on this special bowling team, and now there's a spot opened up. I'm sorry the guy is dead, but that's life.

Mike:
Arch, it's discrimination keeping out a guy because of what he is.

Archie:
They don't keep nobody out because of what he is. They keep a guy out maybe because of what he ain't. Like, for instance if he ain't a good bowler, he ain't gettin' in—and if he ain't white and Protestant. What could be fairer than that?

Mike:
Letting in anybody in, no matter what color he is, no matter what religion he is. That's what this country is supposed to be about.

Archie:
Get out of here, that's only for the civil service.