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Archie: (to Kelsey) Why don't you go back to bartender's school and take a course in "shut up"? Archie: You're Bill Mulherin's kid brother. Bill: Better than that, I'm Bill Mulherin. Archie: Naaah. Bill: I am. Archie: You're Bill Mulhe- Bill: Uh-huh. Archie: Well I'll be, you are. Hey, come over here. How are you. How've you been? Bill: Great, great. Just great. Now can I ask you a question? Archie: Yeah, sure. Bill: Who are you? Archie: You don't remember me, Archie Bunker? Bill: Archie Bunker? I thought you were dead. Archie: How do you do it? How do you stay so young? Bill: It's like I told you before, Arch. The secret is up here (pointing to his head). You want to stay young, you think young, and wait until you get a load of the young friend that's meeting me. One look at her and you feel 10 years younger. Archie: Oh, you're meetin' a girl in here, huh Bill? Bill: When she gets here, call me Brad. Archie: Brad? What for? Bill: Well, it sounds younger. Bill ain't got no pizazz to it. People start calling you Brad, and you, you feel like a Brad.

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