Stainer:
I love Kirky, but let's face it, the guy's a five.
Devon:
Stainer, that's just a dirty pool. He's at least a six.
Stainer:
A six? Alright you go ahead and pump rainbows into his asshole. I'm just being honest.
Jack:
Come on, cut him some slack. Look. Half a point because he's a nice guy. Right? And he's funny, so that's half a point each. That brings him to six. Devon's right.
Stainer:
But he drives a shitbox, deduct a point. Take a point off.
Kirk:
Wait, what's wrong with my Neon?
Stainer:
Oh, I don't know. Except the people who make that car don't even like it. So, we're back to a five.
Jack:
Five.
Stainer:
Meanwhile, this Molly, is a hard ten. And that five point disparity, that's a chasm. Chasm? Chasm. You can't jump more than two points.
Kirk:
Where do you get this shit?
Stainer:
Trust me, Kirk. I can't even get a ten.
Jack:
[chuckles] Oh, not even you, huh?
Stainer:
I'm a six, okay?
Jack:
Bullshit, you're a six. Then what am I?
Stainer:
You're an eight.
Jack:
Okay, you're a six then.
Stainer:
But I get a one point bump because I'm in a band.
Kirk:
Stainer, you're in a Hall and Oates cover band. I'm pretty sure that's a deducation.
Stainer:
Adult Education is a tribute band. So that puts me back at seven. On a good day, the best I can bag is a nine.
Kirk:
What about your crappy car?
Stainer:
Artist's exemption. I'm expected to have a shitty car.
Jack:
Is there an artist exemption for talking out your ass?
Stainer:
Yeah, it's called being a rock star, Jack! Look it up in the dictionary. It's there. It's right next to "f*** you"!
Devon:
I think this system's ridiculous. All right? If someone really loves you, then you are a ten.
Jack:
My God. What are you, Hannah Montana? Because nothing you are saying right now is of any help to Kirk.
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