American Horror Story, Season 5: Hotel

Alex Lowe:
By the way, I'm not unaware of the obvious cliche here-- I wanted to save kids because I felt I needed saving. But in my case the cliche is dead on. Suffice it to say, mine was not a happy childhood. Then Holden showed up. It was a tectonic shift where everything I thought I knew about myself got rearranged. It was like I finally fell in love for real. All the cracks and missing pieces came together. I felt whole. I'd found my soul mate. I couldn't stop smelling his head. It made me feel drowsy and giddy, like we were in the middle of a lavender field in the south of France. The smell was real. He truly smelled like fresh lavender. It was and always will be my drug of choice. I even wondered if I truly loved John, because my feelings for him were never as powerful as my feelings for Holden. And I've always felt guilty because I never quite bonded like that with Scarlett when she was a baby. It was a special kind of love. Maybe a once in a lifetime thing. And then he disappeared.