Are You Being Served?, Season 1

[First lines. The opening shot is in the gents department at Grace Brothers Department Store. The camera travels across to the lift on the right. The lift doors open with two women inside, Mrs. Betty Slocombe and Miss Shirley Brahms]

Mrs Slocombe:
Oh, is that the best you can do, Miss Brahms?

Miss Brahms:
Well it's not my job, is it? I'll try again. (Presses a button and the lift doors close, but the lift itself malfunctions)

Mrs Slocombe:
(from inside the lift) Oh, really.

[The doors open again and the two ladies realise they are in the same position]

Miss Brahms:
Look, the girl who operates the lifts should be here to help us with the move.

Mrs Slocombe:
Oh, never mind, come along. (Jumps down from the lift and Miss Brahms gives her the garment rack they have taken to the floor) Oh, Miss Brahms. Pull your skirt down.

Miss Brahms:
But we're not open.

Mrs Slocombe:
That may be, but now that we're sharing our department with gents outfitting, it might pay us to be a little more circumspect.

[But then, Mrs. Slocombe pulls the garment rack into a trolley which is being pushed by Mr. Mash, a maintenance man who works at Grace Brothers]

Mr Mash:
Cor blimey! Women drivers.

Mrs Slocombe:
That'll do, Mr. Mash. Instead of standing there making those sarcastic remarks, you could give us a hand.

Mr Mash:
Middle-class cow! (Mrs. Slocombe glares at him as he pushes his trolley to the gents counter which is being manned by Mr. Humphries)

Mr Humphries:
Having trouble with Mrs. Slocombe?

Mr Mash:
All that woman's lib's gone to her head, mate!

Mr Humphries:
Oh, I hope not. If she burns her bra, we'll have to call out the London Fire Brigade.

Mr Mash:
Women's department. Who ever heard of a women's department on this floor? It's been men's ever since I was a boy.

Mr Humphries:
That Mrs. Pankhurst's really started something.

Mr Mash:
Well what are you gonna do about it, Mr. Humphries?

Mr Humphries:
Well as a matter of fact, I was thinking of chaining myself to the lift gates.

Mr Mash:
Eh? Kinky.