Auf Wiedersehen, Pet, Series 2

Barry:
D'you know what Sugden's have just told me?

Trevor:
Oi, I was listening to that!

Barry:
They just told me they can't deliver the radiators till the end of the month! And I'm not a punter, Trevor, I'm trade. You think that'd mean something. [He puts the broken skirting boards down] Oh, no, no, no.

Trevor:
They're giving you a discount.

Barry:
What good's a discount if they can't guarantee delivery? [He sighs as he marks items off a clipboard on the wall] Without the radiators, I can't start the decoration, I can't lay the bloody carpet.

Trevor:
Well get the roof on before you start worrying about the carpets.

Barry:
It's a nightmare! I said to Hazel - it was back in January - "Haze", I said, "by the time your wedding day comes round, the home of your dreams will be ready and waiting for you." If it isn't... I don't think she'll marry me.

Trevor:
D'you know, a place this size could house about eight homeless families.

Barry:
Oh, don't give me any of your Militant claptrap, Trevor! I sweated blood to buy this place.

Trevor:
Ah, the Falklands(!)

Barry:
Not just the Falklands, thank you. I was in Germany before that. Yeah, we roughed it, we did. Düsseldorf in January's no picnic, I can tell you, mate. Ere, hang on... [He reaches into a box and picks up a framed photo he had taken of the Magnificent Seven on their last day in Düsseldorf.] Awww, ha-ha, here we are. Look at this! [He shows the photo to Trevor]

Trevor:
Desperate looking bunch.

Barry:
[Offended] Do you mind!? Salt of the earth, these lads. We were known as The Magnificent Seven.

Trevor:
What? Throughout Germany?

Barry:
No, in our hut, amongst ourselves, like. Yes... [chuckles as he looks at the picture and points to the people in the photo] There's Bomber. Strong as an ox, gentle as a kitten. Wayne, oh ho! No Fräulein was safe from Bavaria to the Baltic with this one, mate. That's, er... that's Dennis. He was our anchor, Trev. And er... yes, that's Neville, yes. Next to me. A bit of a worrier, Nev, but he'd give you the shirt off his back. Come to think of it... [checks his shirt] I think this is his shirt actually.

Trevor:
Who's that mad looking maniac there? [points to the picture]

Barry:
Oz. He was in the Falklands with me. The first person to be thrown off the islands since we saw the Argies off. Ahh... the last one's Moxey. He was an arsonist from Kirkby. [sighs] Oh, happy days! [He places the photo on the ]

Trevor:
How long is it since you've seen these mates of yours then?

Barry:
The day we took the picture.

Trevor:
[Sneerily] So you're really close(!)

Barry:
Ere, ere, ere, oi! It's not like that. Friendship forged in adversity. That's there for life, that is! Look, each one of us knows that if the chips were down, if we were in dire straits, like, all they'd have to do is to send out an S.O.S. and the others would down tools and come running. [He takes a step, and his foot goes through the floorboard] Bloody hell!

Trevor:
I'll tell ya something, if you ever wanna get this place finished, you'll have to look your mates up again.